Passive smoking
by verden
Summary: Peter's desperate to see Carla, but they can only find a few stolen moments during his cigarette break. Oneshot, set after 19th Dec. episode.


**Passive smoking**

_Thought I'd try a one-shot for a change - this is set around 19th December (the week after the affair began)._

Peter used to think he was hard-working, but today it was pointless kidding himself. He had read his paperwork ten times now, but remembered nothing. He couldn't stop his eyes straying to the window whenever he saw a glimpse of dark hair or heard the clicking of heels. Every time he felt a thrill of anticipation. Then the sinking disappointment of realising it wasn't her.

He didn't know what he wanted to say, but he had to see her again. Since Michelle returned, Carla had barely had a moment alone, either at the office or at home. And Leanne had been watching Peter closely. After calling into the factory twice this week, he could make no more surprise visits and Michelle might even question a call. There was too much at stake to raise suspicions.

But suddenly he couldn't stand it any longer. Checking Leanne was still in the back room, he grabbed his phone. "Fag in 5. Join me? x", he sent quickly, and immediately deleted the message from his phone.

He hated the secrecy. In another world, he'd be sending Carla love letters, and treating her with gifts. Here, he had to wipe his feeble text message from existence, and all he could offer her was passive smoking.

Taking out a cigarette, he tapped it against the desk nervously. As the five minutes dragged by, he convinced himself several times that this was a bad idea, that they'd be caught out. Finally he turned the radio up, hoping it might block out noise from outside. Then, his heart racing, he asked Leanne to cover his break. The moment she agreed, he was gone.

He turned left, walking far enough to be clear of Leanne's sight and hearing. Taking his time to light up, he turned his back on the factory. He couldn't appear to expect her. She might not even have seen his text. But when he heard footsteps, he couldn't help but turn his head, taking in her warm smile and her flawless outfit. How did she always look so perfect?

"Hiya", She slowed her pace, an impressive pretence of surprise at seeing him.

Ironic, he thought, that half the street thought they were barely acquaintances, when he knew her better than anyone. When they'd slept in each other's arms just a few days ago.

"All right?" He smiled.

"Had the urge for a walk… ". He loved the playful look in her eyes. "Michelle's been around all day you know."

"Must be nice to see her." he replied, trying to keep his body language just casual, friendly, conscious of attracting gossip. "How are you doing?"

"Not bad" she answered. "Still not sleeping so well though." She tilted her head. "Except this one night…".

He smiled, leaning back against the wall, inhaling on his cigarette as he looked around. Although it was busy at the end of the street, no-one was within earshot, but he still lowered his voice to a whisper.

"I've missed you..."

"Me too" she replied, glancing warily at the bookies. As she moved her head, a strand of hair fell over her face. He instinctively moved to step forward, to stroke it back, then stopped himself, realising the attention that might draw.

"When can I get you alone?" he whispered, ashamed of the need in his voice.

He felt awful for putting her in a position where she had to lie, although with the trial, she needed secrecy as much as he did. But unless he spoke now, illicit meetings was all they would have until Christmas and that seemed too far away to bear. Hadn't secrecy been the backdrop of their relationship from the start anyway.

But as a group of young men turned the corner towards them, Carla had to change the subject quickly.

"How's Simon? Taught you to wrap presents yet?"

Peter laughed, remembering their encounter a few days before.

"Lost cause there, I'm afraid. Yeah Si's good - excited for Christmas."

"And the nativity play?" she asked.

"Going well. He'll be the star of the show. Great little actor". He watched the customers disappear into the bookies, guiltily relieved that Leanne's attention would be occupied for a while.

"Takes after his dad, then?" she replied, a slight edge below the teasing in her voice.

"God, I hope not" he replied, stung by her remark. "Poor kid!"

Carla shifted her weight awkwardly from one leg to the other. The street was clear again, so she leaned slightly closer to him, lowering her voice.

"Well, the acting can only go so far can't it." She fixed him with her gaze. "Sooner or later, have to stop rehearsing. Face the audience."

He nodded sadly, taking another drag on his cigarette.

"I promise…" he assured her. "After the trial".

"Judgement day for all of us I reckon" she said dryly.

He sighed.

"Depressing eh. Everything we should do is impossible right now"

She caught his eye.

"And what about the things we shouldn't do"

He couldn't help smiling, as he breathed out slowly.

"They're all I can think about these days…" He looked at her, unable to hide his desire.

She rested her hand against the wall, seeming thoughtful, as Peter scanned the street again. Still quiet. They'd been lucky - so far – but they still spoke as quietly as they could.

"I hear there's a nativity rehearsal tomorrow? Guess you'll be there?"

He considered for a moment. "I took him last night. Could be Leanne's turn."

"Ah." She smiled. "You see, as we're making all the costumes, maybe Michelle should go for the evening. Just so she knows what they need."

"Good idea." he agreed.

"We'd always go when Ryan was Simon's age - she loved it. I might suggest it to her now" she offered. "After my walk"

He smiled. Taking another drag on his cigarette, he left a long pause.

"What are you up to tomorrow then?"

"Couldn't possibly tell you that." She folded her arms, enjoying teasing him.

"Ahhh… some new fella then?"

"Could be. Might invite him to mine." She smiled. "Something romantic you know."

Peter closed his eyes, trying to play it cool in case anyone was watching, struggling to hide his excitement.

"Well, he'd be mad to turn that down."

"We'll see." she replied. Then as he stubbed his cigarette out, she turned away, heading back to the factory.

"Guess I'll see you around." she called back over her shoulder.

"Guess you might" he smiled.

Her heels clicked loudly on the cobbles as she strode away. Peter watched until she disappeared, longing for the day when he could walk down the street beside her.


End file.
